Change in rhythm

I came back from our trip to the Oregon coast with some sort of bug, which has me a bit laid up this week. So I’ve cancelled some stuff I had planned and settled down to being pretty much a homebody for a few days. I’m finding that this is so much easier to do than it would have been at (most) other times in my life. Not just because I have fewer commitments but also because I’m so much more content to just move slowly. This awareness brought to mind a train of thought I’ve been toying with lately.

Lately, I’ve noticed this nice change in my rhythm, the pace of my days. It’s slower, more open to what arises, freer to ignore time and follow whatever entices my interest. This is different for me. I’m far more used to having my time pretty full and pretty structured—even since I retired. So this is a shift, and for now, it feels like a good one. I don’t at all assume that this will be the final pattern for every day in the future. But it’s interesting to notice the change and my (current) comfort with it.

For instance, here’s what a typical day looks like these days:  I have a leisurely breakfast reading the news. Next, I do an hour or two of work on my now-very-part-time editing job. Then, I walk to the gym for my tri-weekly session of pumping iron, which I actually enjoy! I meander home and settle into some more editing. That finished, I may visit a coffee shop, read a book for a while, and then meet my partner for dinner.  In the evening, I might finish up some left-over editing, catch up on email, or play with a blog, and then crash.

Or, some days I have actual scheduled events, and one of those days looks more like this: I start my day in much the same way: breakfast with news, a couple of hours’ editing. Next, I pick up my pal, and we go to the “sit ‘n’ fit” exercise class at the senior center and then have lunch there, visiting with folks I’d never meet if I weren’t doing this volunteer gig. After I drop her off, I change my clothes, grab a water bottle, and head out for a long, lovely, luxurious, walk. I come home tired and totally content and settle into a bit more editing. With that finished for the day, I move into the same sort of evening pattern.

So, I’ve been thinking about this new rhythm, contrasting it with how my days looked just a few short months ago. Back then, I described here a couple of “days in the mix,” detailing how I had spent those days. Check it out to see the change. And I was doing about twice as much editing work then. No wonder I felt crunched for time!

Where does this change come from? Part of it is that my awareness of my time and my freedom shifted when I lightened my work load. Before, it was hard for me to even contemplate long, leisurely walks—I just felt too frantic. In addition to that, I’m wondering if part of it was a change of mind, a shift in perspective that came from (a) my encounter with boredom and the realization that I needed to do something about it and (b) my program to reduce (if not eliminate) my tendency to turn to my computer (Linus) to pass the time.

I’m thinking it went something like this. Having less work naturally eased my sense of time pressure and freed me to spend time doing things I had let pass me by before. That freedom, though, left me a bit worried about whether I might be bored with all this uncommitted time. What would I do?! I suspect this is what a lot of folks face (or worry that they’ll face) when they retire … I just postponed it a few years. Knowing that I had to do something about this boredom thing, I set about trying to re-write how I spend my time. I realized, with a friend’s encouragement, how easy it had been to hunker down with Linus to pass time, even when there’s nothing particular to do at the computer. As I worked to let go of that habit, I turned outward in search of ways to fill, to enjoy my extra time. And all of this freed me on a new level to turn down the frantic.

Easing back on the throttle, I believe I discovered a new level of flow, ease, time. At least for now. This may change. I may find a new project that captures my passion and consumes my time. But for now, to steal a phrase, I’m lovin’ it.