Thursday, June 25, 2015

Time thoughts


The other day, I was walking along thinking about some events from earlier in my life—maybe 20 years ago—and I realized that I had a totally different take on these happenings than I’d had back then. “What a difference time makes,” I thought to myself. That, in turn, brought to mind several recent encounters with the phrase “the tincture of time,” and I was off on a tangent pondering how time changes reality.

Of course we all know that time itself changes drastically as we age. At this point in my life, it seems to rush by—and not just when I’m having fun, either. I’ve actually written here before about some of the explanations that folks have offered for that phenomenon—the way time speeds up as we age. So I won’t dwell on it again (but if you’re curious, just click here  for a trip back in time to that blog). Instead, I want to talk about time, not as a changing phenomenon but as a change agent—something that actually does things to the world as we know it. Which is to say, it does things to our worlds.

It all started when the phrase “tincture of time” came to mind. But I knew that the transformation in my view of those earlier experiences wasn’t about time acting as a tincture. It wasn’t healing old wounds. This was more about time acting as a lens. Pretty soon, I was pondering on several phrases that point to how time changes reality:

The tincture of time. An old saw. I’m not sure whether time heals all wounds (as many of us have likely been told), but I’ve lately been learning that patience and forbearance—i.e., time—ease the sting of many of them. It’s a valuable lesson that not only makes painful experiences feel less totally devastating but also keeps me from exacerbating problems that are better left to settle. When things really aren’t, on second thought, a big deal, often settle if I don’t stir them around like a pot of smelly stew. The tincture of time. Or, as Lennon and McCartney famously urged, let it be.

The lens of time. This one fits the experience that started my ruminations. For some reason, I discovered myself viewing old experiences through a new lens. Actions by others that had bothered me back in the day now seemed to have actually been kind and generous—my old view of them now looked like a product of my own self-absorption at the time, a result of a flawed lens. It reminded me, as I reflected on it, of how a camera lens does this. Cameras don’t see the world like our eyes do. Big things recede, small things come into focus, reality is morphed by the properties of the lens—or the properties of time. And the world changes.

The veil of time. Time hides some things and leaves others open to view. Things that seemed so clear at one point slip from memory, and we don’t even recognize their absence. I was talking to a 13-year-old the other day, who wondered whether we had ever visited him in his home state. We had, many times, so I reminded him of several of those. He flat-out didn’t recall most of them. I could attribute this to his young age, but the one thing he did recall was an experience as a 4-year-old when we persuaded some firefighters on a lunch break to show him their truck, up-close and personal. How many of my experiences have slipped from view without my noticing? And what does it do to my understanding of the world and my life—how would my reality change if memory X had vanished rather than memory Y?

Now, the idea the time itself actually shapes reality isn’t an especially novel or startling concept, although I do think it somehow takes on more salience as I age. Probably because time is so different, now, in unforeseen ways. This is the first time, for instance, that I’ve ever been so totally, suddenly aware—to the point of surprise—that time has dramatically reshaped my understanding of a long-ago event. Without any effort on my part and without my even noticing the process, until the new version cropped up, unbidden, as I walked to the gym one morning.

Then I started thinking about all the ways that our language about time also shapes our reality. I once ran into a discussion of this, framed in terms of a personality typology. But separating it from that theoretical framework, just think about how different our encounter with time is when we talk, for instance, about spending time instead of about wasting it. Losing time vs. investing time. Finding time to do something or losing track of time while we’re doing something. So many words … devoting time, preserving time, making time, protecting, using, taking time … and on and on. Each one says something about the meaning of time—as a treasure, a nuisance, a commodity, a barrier, a burden, a creation, an opening.

What difference would it make, I wondered, if I made a conscious effort to use positive words when I think or talk about time. Now that sounds like an interesting experiment.

I don’t know quite where all this is leading, what I’m trying to say to you. I need to spend some time thinking about this. Maybe that’s all this blog is really for—a reminder to pay more attention to time and its place in my life and my language.



© Janis Bohan, 2010-2015. Use of this content is welcome with attribution and a link to the post. 

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Thursday, June 11, 2015

Yucca rising

(If you received this blog by email, you might want to visit the actual site. The pictures work much better there. 
Just click on the title “Yucca rising.”)

One of my favorite local walks is in an open meadow on a mesa nearby, with views of the front range and a wonderful feeling of openness. It's often windy, but I love that, too. Early summer walks bring a special treat—the opportunity to watch yucca emerge from their scraggly, pointy bases, stretch tall, looking for all the world like huge asparagus stalks, and then blossom into these lovely waxy flowers. The flowers seem so improbable—they look more tropical than high dessert, although the base seems cactus-like, with stiff sharp blade-like leaves. 

So I thought I'd share some pictures of the emergence of this year's yucca crop. The sun wasn't helping me here. Each day I tried this, it was overcast and gray, not like Colorado's storied blue sky and bright sun, which have been uncharacteristically rare this year. But not being at all the patient photographer who waits for hours or days for the perfect light, I just snapped away, eager to tell the yucca's tale.

So here it is, from stubby stalk to waxy bloom (all in meager sunlight).


       





      






























See why I like this walk?




© Janis Bohan, 2010-2015. Use of this content is welcome with attribution and a link to the post. 

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Wednesday, June 10, 2015

The flap over Caitlyn


In the past several days since Caitlyn Jenner was featured on the cover and in the pages of Vanity Fair magazine, I’ve read several articles that have claimed a feminist stance in critiquing her “coming out / coming in” process. These pieces are thought provoking, for sure. And they raise points that are core to feminism, past and present, as I understand it (granting that there are as many forms of feminism as there are people claiming the name). On the other hand, they also raise points that are at the very heart of what it means to “transition” from a male to a female identity—or, as some would describe it, to affirm one’s lifelong identity as woman. And also at the heart of what it means to take a trans-positive stance vis-à-vis questions of gender identity and gender expression (i.e., who one is as male or female, and how people choose to present themselves).

This has been a hard blog to write (and its length reflects that difficulty). I’ve hesitated to wade into this morass, both because whatever I say is bound to tick off a few people (and I prefer to make conversation, not war) and because I have no better perspective on the controversy than a lot of other folks who have already weighed in. But a couple of folks have suggested that I write about it. And part of me has been hankering to do just that because it taps into this amazing chaos created by the intersection of gender (complicated enough in its own right) and feminism (ditto). I’ve spent a lot of time with these issues over the years, and the topic has huge meaning for me—hence, this blog.

Fair warning: I don’t have answers, only musings. The key to grappling with these issues and their occasional conflicts, it seems to me, is to settle into living with uncertainty and ambiguity. So be prepared. Here goes.

Part 1. The main feature.

Caitlyn Jenner’s self-presentation in Vanity Fair was, on many levels, stunning. What an extraordinary journey she has had, and what a remarkable moment this was in the burgeoning transgender movement! Besides, no one knew quite what to expect as Bruce bowed out and Caitlyn strode in, and her entry was dramatic. Much of the reaction to the photo spread dealt with how striking her appearance was—made up and gowned, and from what I’ve read (because I haven’t seen the whole issue), photographed in luxurious settings and lovely poses. Initial responses spoke to her beauty and her courage, and social media were all atwitter (so to speak) with the story of another important person publicly claiming a trans identity, adding to the recent swell of such folks.

Part 2. The flap: some “feminist” critiques.

Within a day or two, the critiques began. Among them were pieces challenging the massive praise for Ms. Jenner, her choice of the means by which she would come out, and her description of what it means to be a trans woman. Some of these articles / columns / blogs were largely anti-trans commentaries, and I won’t be commenting on those. Among the others were several whose writers described their stance as “feminist”—a vague enough claim to cover a lot of intellectual territory. These seemed to encompass two major arguments, and I’ll start by describing those, far too briefly. Stick with me for this. You may or may not agree with these points, but I’ll come back for a second look from a more trans-affirmative perspective—with which you also might or might not agree. And then another round attempting to wrap it all up.

The first critique is based on the feminist notion that women have routinely been valued only for their appearance and that they are expected—indeed, carefully and steadily taught—to be attractive rather than active. The argument is that Caitlyn Jenner’s version of becoming a woman reinforces these narrow stereotypes through a photographic essay that presents her as ultra-“feminine,” posed, busty, made up, and air-brushed. This critique was clearly stated in a New York Times column by Rhonda Garelick. The column is titled “The Price of Caitlyn Jenner’s Heroism”—already hinting at the problem—and the third paragraph summarizes her key point: “Caitlyn Jenner’s transition is more than a private matter. It is a commercial spectacle on an enormous scale, revealing some disturbing truths about what we value and admire in women.” Garelick goes on to describe Jenner’s clothing, her hair, her makeup, and her poses as classic expressions of a view of women that values them only insofar as they are beautiful, passive, and on display. She continues: “This seems less the liberation of a true self than a reminder of the straitjacket requirements of acceptable, desirable womanhood.” The closing paragraph underscores the point. Garelick writes, “While the fanfare around the emergence of Caitlyn may advance our acceptance of transgender individuals, it does so, in this case, at a price: the perpetuation, even celebration, of narrow and dehumanizing strictures of womanhood sustained by the fashion and entertainment industries. True liberation of gender’s vast spectrum should ask more of us than that we simply exchange one uncomfortable, oppressive identity for another.”

The second argument is based on the feminist notion that one’s identity as a woman is shaped not by biology, as Jenner has suggested in references to her “female brain,” but by gender-related experiences that begin in the cradle (or before) and end in the grave. The crucial point here is that gender is made, not born. It is not a matter of innate “tendencies” or “brain differences,” but a product of years and years of living within the constraints set for women by society. Thus, the experience of someone who transitions to womanhood in adulthood simply is not, cannot be the same as the experience of being a woman for life.

This position was at the heart of another NYT column by Elinor Burkett titled “What Makes a Woman?” Aghast at the brain argument, Burkett writes, “Suddenly, I find that many of the people I think of as being on my side—people who proudly call themselves progressive and fervently support the human need for self-determination—are buying into the notion that minor differences in male and female brains lead to major forks in the road and that some sort of gendered destiny is encoded in us. [That sort of argument] was used to repress women for centuries. But the desire to support people like Ms. Jenner and their journey toward their truest selves has strangely and unwittingly brought it back.”

To counter this misconstrual, in her view, of what shapes women’s identity, Burkett cites a neuroscientist who explains that the differences between male and female brains are caused not by innate differences but by the “drip, drip, drip” of experience, of the gendered environment. At least from an outside perspective, the drip, drip, drip of Bruce Jenner’s earlier life included decades of the sort of privileged experience that comes to men without their noticing. So however Caitlyn dresses and moves and speaks, whatever roles she assumes, she will never know what it means to have been a girl/woman from birth, to have lived in that one-down position for all those decades. (Burkett disregards the fact that men are also harmed by sexism, but that’s another blog.) In fact, Burkett suggests that trans women’s insistence on being regarded as “real” women threatens the very meaning of “woman.” (This aspect of Burkett’s column has itself received a fair amount of commentary—like this Huffington Post article).
Some of what fuels the position that Burkett represents—with its obvious edge of outrage—is the sense that a challenge to gender binaries was the explicit aim of the feminist movement decades ago, long before trans issues had received notable visibility. That early feminist work, she argues, is why we now see so much less gender discrimination than we saw back then, when the feminist movement was the only gender-binary-smashing game in town. We should be together in this, feminists and the trans movement, she seems to say. But instead, trans activists have missed the boat, retreated to the biological determinism, and abandoned the position that previously brought such dramatic (if still incomplete) change.
Part 3. Some trans-positive responses
OK, those are the two prominent feminist positions I spotted. Now, let me suggest another, more trans-positive perspective. First, let me acknowledge that, not having experienced a disjunction between my physical self (or my assigned gender) and my gender identity, I can speak only from things I’ve read and conversations I’ve had with trans folks. With that fiat, my hope is to present a counterpoint to Garelick’s and Burkett’s arguments from the position of an ally to trans folks and a lesbian who has shared some similar experiences of prejudice, discrimination, and opportunity deriving from non-mainstream identity.
First, let’s consider Caitlyn Jenner’s hyper-feminine (in the traditional sense) self-presentation. I have two thoughts. First, whose business is it how she dresses, uses make up, presents herself in her behavior, poses, mannerisms? Plenty of women who aren’t trans identified are extremely focused on appearing “feminine,” spending fortunes and hours (to paraphrase T. S. Elliott) preparing a face to meet the faces that they meet. The (other) Kardashians come to mind. Now, we may not prefer their choices, might even think them problematic. But other folks might think the same of our manner of self-presentation, and whose business is that?
Second, and on a very different plane, despite the critics' insistence that the Vanity Fair piece portrays a woman preoccupied with abiding by the limiting rules for women’s appearance and behavior, it seems obvious that Jenner's choice to transition was indeed a very self-defining and self-affirming act. It was far from passive. Her choice of physical accoutrements—clothing, hair, make up, mannerisms—could be seen as defiant rather than submissive. This presentation is the epitome of the self-presentation that was denied her when she was living as Bruce. She claims her gender identity with an exclamation point, affirmatively and unapologetically.
As for the challenge to Jenner’s biological claims, we simply don’t know enough about the brain to claim either that trans people’s brains, women’s brains, or men’s brains are unique in some way or that they are not. Personally, I resist a purely biological explanation for virtually any complex experience, but we simply can’t answer this question at this point. Besides, why does it matter?
To the argument that Jenner (and other trans women) fail to recognize the experiences of oppression they’ve escaped by virtue of their late entry into their identity as women, I have two reactions. First, trans women (and other trans people) have, in fact, experienced their own version of oppression, suppression, repression over the years of coming to this point in their lives. And I’m guessing they weren’t immune to sexism. Their awareness of themselves as women could easily have made them acutely sensitive to the sexism they witnessed, knowing it could be directed at them. The bias they’ve faced isn’t the same as the version of oppression that girls and women experience, but who’s to say that it’s less painful—or less valuable. It’s true that trans women have not lived their entire lives as the direct objects of explicit and implicit sexism—indeed, they may have enjoyed male privilege for some part of their lives. And it’s true that they therefore reach adult womanhood with a different perspective on life. So what? Those of us who grew up as women, dealing with sexism for decades, also reached adulthood with unique perspectives. While we can argue that the shared experience of lifelong sexism creates a bond among non-trans women, it needn’t drive a wedge between us and trans women. On the contrary, it could sensitize us all to the consequences of oppression of any sort.
Second, what are we doing here, deciding who is a “real” woman? What are the criteria? Will there by tests? What sort of self-presentation will legitimize my identity as a woman? How long must I have lived as a female for it to “count”? If I’ve been targeted by severe sexism for a while, does that make up for my earlier years? Or is it all about being female at birth? If so, how will we respond to people with intersex conditions? Who among them will count as women? If the feminist movement has taught us anything it’s the danger and the cost of shoving people into narrow identity categories. Do we really want to start our own round of that sort of treatment of others?
Part 4: Is there a “right” answer?
By now, you (like I) may be sufficiently flummoxed by these arguments and counter arguments to be wondering what the “right” answer is. I don’t know. But I’ll share a few of my personal thoughts about it.
First, the matter of Jenner’s (and perhaps other trans people’s) buying into, even exaggerating long-standing gender stereotypes. I think both sides have a point here, and I suspect their intersection offers a deeper message for us. To be honest, the question of whether trans folks might reinforce gender stereotypes (or, if you’re into such debates, may reinforce the gender binary itself) has been a matter of some concern to me. I cut my feminist teeth on the notion that “feminine” was too close to “oppressed” for comfort. Back in the day, shaking off rigid expectations around dress, make up, behaviors, occupational choices, etc. was the heady heart of feminism. We especially worried, as Garelick does, that the traditional image of women, found in the media and in our lives, would unduly influence young girls, presenting as “ideal” a very constricted view of who/how they could be as women. It should not come as big news that this constricted image has not disappeared. Just visit the toy section of your local department store to see the range of choices girls now have: which pink-garbed “princess” doll would you like? I realize that the “pay-off” of this particular form of self-presentation is huge, so the odds are stacked in favor of girls’ opting for an image similar to the one we see in Jenner’s Vanity Fair article. But to lay that at her feet—or the feet of trans women in general, a tiny fraction of women who present themselves in this way—is to ignore the multitude of other images of this ilk that we encounter every day. If the portrayal of women we see in this magazine is something that we need to work on, then let’s work on that instead of criticizing Caitlyn Jenner’s invocation of that widely displayed image.
This leaves two items: the question of whether trans women can rightfully claim identity as “real” women—presumably thereby threatening the integrity of “woman” as an identity category—and frustration at the apparent disregard for early feminist work that challenged binary gender categories decades ago. On a personal level, I admit to having had reactions similar to the authors' in both of these areas over the years. With respect to the first point, my issue was not whether trans women “counted” as women, but whether women who identified as lesbian by choice counted as “real” lesbians. It was only when I began to think of identity not as an essential, predetermined quality but as a product of life experiences, cultural understandings, and lots of contextual factors that I got over it. My conclusion: your claim to a “lesbian” identity is defined by your experience, not mine. I feel the same way about trans women’s identity as women.
And with respect to the second point, I’ve also had moments of distress at a sense that the trans movement doesn’t recognize the legacy of 1970s feminism, which was grounded in precisely the notion that binary gender categories were stultifying and should be challenged at every turn. I have similar moments when I hear young feminists talk about sexism as if it were just discovered. Don’t they know we already figured that out? Don’t they realize how far we’ve come as a result of our work way back then? But some years ago, someone suggested to me that it would make more sense to celebrate the fact that these ideas persist as important cultural themes. Sure it would be nice if we were finished with sexism—and racism, heterosexism, cisgenderism, classism, ageism, ableism, and the rest. But the crucial thing is that we’re still having these conversations, or else none of it could possibly change. I feel the same way about the challenges to gender brought by the trans movement. Sure, I’d like them to acknowledge how 1970s feminism—and later, the LGB movement—helped pave the way for their work. But in my less selfish moments, I’m just glad that we’re still moving, now with them. 
Part 5: The bottom line
IMHO, both the praise for and the critiques of Caitlyn Jenner’s process bear bits of insight and bits of myopia. Both seem right to me, and both seem wrong. Which actually makes total sense. Especially in the middle of such a major cultural shift, how could we not be uncertain and ambivalent.
The trans movement brings us an opportunity—even a responsibility—to examine long-held beliefs about the nature of gender. This is no small undertaking, given that as a culture, we feel so certain that gender is dichotomous and fixed. But the openings for challenging this view abound. In our midst are young folks who defy this notion—youth who identify as queer or as gender queer, those who reject all identity categories as too confining. Sure, some of this is the nature of youth—but that doesn’t make the challenge to our thinking any less valuable. Looking beyond our own society, cross-cultural research has long pointed to the potential for a much more nuanced understanding of gender, and we can surely learn from this work. Our dichotomous view really isn’t the only “reality” out there. Just think of the expansive space we could clear for individual expression if we could let go of our expectations about what “gender” should mean. If we could realize what Garelick called the “true liberation of gender’s vast spectrum.”
And this brings me back to feminism, which also needs some attention. Recent events—well before the Caitlyn Jenner story—have highlighted a simmering conflict between certain feminist groups and trans women. I’m thinking of stories about the end of the Michigan Women’s Music Festival, an old-time feminist celebration that has long wrestled with this issue, and stories about women’s colleges and their deliberations over whether to admit trans women, among others. Perhaps paradoxically, as Burkett herself pointed out, feminism long ago rejected the rigid expectations for women and men based on biological sex. It’s not hard to spot the connection between that early feminist insistence that one’s biological being not define one’s life experience and trans people’s commitment to living a (gendered) life that feels authentic to them. It’s precisely this connection that led some of us years ago to argue that the strongest ally of the trans movement should be the feminist movement, and vice versa.
There’s work ahead for those of us who care about these issues. It’s always easier to slip back into the comfort of the known, but somehow, I don’t think this thriving movement is going to let that happen.
Hang on, folks. We’re not finished with this conversation. Not by long shot.


© Janis Bohan, 2010-2015. Use of this content is welcome with attribution and a link to the post. 

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